You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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