Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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