What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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