smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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