thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
