Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
