who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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