is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I didn't notice because vodka
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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