Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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