I'm jealous of your bromance
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
