miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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