it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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