either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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