you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My life is pants optional.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
