bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just puked most of my soul out..
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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