U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
