Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize