i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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