big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
