He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
