any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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