you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
