so explain again why im purple
no
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
