Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
