Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
