Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
