He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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