It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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