i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
