Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
