I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
They took my balls.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Randomize
