Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
well you can't waste a boner
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
