We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
foreskin is a definite game changer
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
