Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize