it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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