Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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