When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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