i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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