Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
