When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
