i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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