I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
