I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
