So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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