he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
