NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
