Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
