Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
