You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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