I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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