Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Pooping to opera.
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