I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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