sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
