he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize