I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
