She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I have fence marks all over my body
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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