I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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