this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
