she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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