He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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