You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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