she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We had to coat check the pizza.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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