the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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