Where is the hickey?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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