She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
