He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
